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10:01pm 27/09/2007
   i still have like, 12 hours to finish my debate cases

so really, no hurry


the office was sooooooooo good tonight, i can't even tell you
it was funny
and cute
and omgosh!
so good

so, in approximately one day, i'm going to be quite the happy camper

but now i need an excuse to cancel babysitting on sunday

also, i don't know which tassel to order

but my english paper is totally done!

there ya go ali!
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11:38pm 22/09/2007
  nothing like a bat in the face to wake you up to reality  
nine months left people   
11:15pm 24/08/2007
  I really do not anticipate spending my entire senior year of high school discussing a relationship I am no longer in.

So here is my official press release statement:

Ryan and I were on and off for two years.  We got back together right before the summer started, and two months later he broke up with me.  If you want to know why, then you're s.o.l. because I don't know and he'll just say i was a mean bitch.  Oh well, that was probably true at the end.  

It's over.  It's been over for more than a month. 

I've moved on.  I'm with someone else, and he doesn't make me cry.

Let's all just move on.  Calling me names like "devil child" behind my back is not going to get a rise out of me.  Having your friends come up to me and pestering me is not going to win me back.

You called it off, so it's over.  It's been over more more than a month.

I'm not wasting another year worrying about Ryan Crompton.  I'm going to spend this year being with Mark, kicking ass in debate and AcaDec and figuring out what I want to do after I graduate.

Pointless drama need not apply to my life this year
01:15pm 13/07/2007
  We're fighting

Is anyone really surprised by that?  
Because I'm not.
And of course, it's the same issues as always

Last night was awful
Yelling, swearing, condescending prattle about how I'm doing a piss-poor job (What does that even mean?)
And sure, I was mad
But I admited that I was wrong, and I apologized
And I am not going to sit there and let him treat me 
     Like a pet who's misbehaved and needs to be trained
     Like a child who doesn't understand simple concepts
     Like an employee who isn't meeting basic expectations
     Like I owe him something
That's not what a relationship is supposed to be like

This afternoon wasn't much better
He went on for twelve minutes about... nothing really
Just fluff words about how he's sorry
Too bad I've heard that apology more times than I can count
Too bad the words and the actions never match up
I try so hard to change the things he doesn't like about me, but I can't really change who I am
And why should I have to make all the effort?
Saying that you're trying is not the same thing as actually trying.
He needs to be trying too.

I think he might know
So why is he picking fights with me?
Why push me away when it takes all my will power to stay at all?
I want it to be good again
This fleeting feeling 
It just makes me sad to think that maybe I can't be happy with him
Maybe I really just want what I can't have
Will I ever just be content with what I do have?
I want to be happy with him
I want it to be like it was two months ago

I really just want to be happy
And I want you to be happy
And I want him to be happy too (because as much as he says to the contrary, I don't think he possibly could be)
12:02am 18/06/2007
  It's a month today?  
11:18pm 04/06/2007

I was pleasantly surprised to learn that government functions beyond the federal level.  This has been really cool, and it's only the first full day!  Yay me!  Yay government!  Yay smores!

What did I say about using "yuppers?"   
04:29pm 16/05/2007

4 AP tests laters and I'm still alive! Whoot!
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just a few things to wrap my mind around   
02:16pm 15/04/2007

Saturday Night Live isn't really funny anymore

I'm declaring Avril officially reborn as cool and only somewhat angry

The next time I'm at a NFTY-SW regional event, I'll be the one kicking my shoes in the center, Cody and Josh won't be song-leading, and the juniors will be asking me to mention them in wooden ships... crazy

I would definitely be willing to go to the John Meyer concert just to see Ben Folds

I have a lot of stsuff to do today!

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12:14am 06/04/2007
mood: crushed

i've never been mad at you before.

in other news, my regional youth group is retarded.  why are there four people running for president but only one person running for every other thing?  see y'all at spring... the drama is sure to rule!

ewan mcgregor and orcas!

08:56pm 04/04/2007
  I got a maybe!  
07:22pm 21/03/2007


California here we come!

oh man, history rules!   
08:55pm 20/02/2007
  ChocLvr7: 6. is definitely the assassination of ferdinand
 because that gave germany an excuse to go to war
 because he was the heir to austro-hungary
and so austria-hungary is like "yo serbia, not cool man"
 and serbia's like "we've got russia, so screw off"
 so austria's like "dude, it's on"
 and germany's like "sweet!  war!"
and russia's like "dude, this is a war between a and b, c your way of it"
and then germany's like "dude, russia, it's on x 2"
and italy's like "i have nothing to do with this yo"
 and the ottoman empire is like "germany, i'm so in, but don't tell anybody"
 and then germany's like "dude, france, i do not like you, so i'm gonna invade belgium"
and britain's like "dude, belgium's neutral, you suck"
 which the answer to 7
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07:22pm 07/02/2007
  there are very few times in your life when the main source of all your stress goes away for a week

cherish these moments, they never last forever.

oh, and, NEW TOPIC!  Anyone else hyped?  I have plans for Thursday.  BIG PLANS!  We're going to be productive, I will have handouts for people, and cases will be ready by next week!  ROCK ON!
I'm keeping my mouth shut   
06:52pm 17/01/2007
mood: dumbstruck
the problem with wearing your heart on your sleeve
is that it gets dirty easily

my new year's resolution: become a more private person

i know i'm emotionally charged, overly-dramatic, easily triggered.  I hate being that person.  I'm going to stop being that person.  I'm keeping my mouth shut.

My father is angry √check!

My mother is dramatic √check!

My father is aggresive √check!

My mother is snippy √check!

My father is mean and sarcastic √check!

My mother is moody √check!

I somehow came out as a combination of the two.  Don't get me wrong, I got a lot of really great qualities from my parents.  Their bad sides just make for a really horrible combination (see: me whenever I'm in a bad mood).  I feel out of control when I'm angry.  I don't like that feeling.  I'm going to contain my emotions.  I'm keeping my mouth shut.

Today was the last time that will ever happen.  It's ridiculous.  We are all retarded. 

I really am making the effort.  Starting today, starting now, I'm keeping my mouth shut.

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No I can't hang out, I'm in Arizona (WARNING: Obnoxiously AWESOME!)   
02:49am 07/01/2007
mood: tired
If you ever have the opportunity to be a tourist in your hometown, take it; it's an incredible experience.

OHIO! Go Buckeyes!

on a less cheery note, i have to go back to school in 30 hours and 2 minutes.  *tear*
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09:16pm 04/01/2007
  "An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come." -Victor Hugo  
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car wrecks, car wrecks everywhere, but not a drop to drink   
10:08pm 28/12/2006
mood: worried
things to destroy this week:

  • a boy's spirit    √check!
  • my self respect   √check!
  • a street sign  √check!
  • a tire √check!
  • the transmission in my mom's car √check!

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09:03pm 27/12/2006
  i'm a bitch.  period.  
Silence of the Lambs   
09:23pm 24/12/2006
mood: uncomfortable
I was tired of the fighting and the mistrust and the hurt and the exhaustion of it all.  We were fighting (again) today and I just couldn't think of a good reason to keep it up.  Yesterday was an eye-opener.

So it's over now.
Birthday Week   
04:24pm 14/12/2006
mood: Birthday!
I am so hyped!  Keri is in town! Wednesday was pretty exciting. After fighting with Ryan over a silly thing, him, Keri and me went to CPK for dinner. Then my dad dropped by, had a diet coke and paid. I'm pretty sure he was trying to figure out who this Ryan kid is. Ryan was petrified. Then to the Gelato Spot. Oooh, I still have my ice cream... I shall eat that now. and then it was 


I really really love my birthday. 

So I woke up today and there was a really yummy breakfast and... presents! My mother actually bought me really cute clothes!   And then I walked to school and Zoe got me a Paint Your Own Dreidel Set.  That was awesome!  And then Lindsay got me PONIES!!!  And then Ryan got me balloons.  And then the debate team spent an hour trading items they didn't own  with one another.  And then I drove everyone home in Ryan's car... that was entertaining.  Tonight I will be ordering Chinese food and watching the greatest night of television.  That's right, The Office is an hour long tonight, just for my birthday.